Darkest Night

Two years ago, when the world I knew was shattered, I would often wake up in the middle of the night in deepest grief. My little yorkie/min-pin pup named Benni would come and sit by me and try to console me during many of those dark nights. Sometimes I wept. More often I sat there watching the night out the window wondering what could remain for me.

I spent those nights crying out to God, asking for His help... Asking for Him to somehow help me make it through... Asking Him to show me what to do next.

In a way that I can't explain I was remade into a new person those late dark nights. I long to be more that person today. I want to continue to grow in and toward Him.

For years prior to those months, I had suffered with insomnia and I would have to get up and muddle around for an hour or so before I could go back to bed and drop off to sleep. The insomnia and waking used to annoy me.

These nights I smile when I wake up in the middle of the night.

I smile because the middle of the night is now my favorite time to be with God. It's my favorite time because in the middle of these nights I am taken back to those darkest nights and the hands that held me up when there was nothing left.

I love you Jesus. Thank you.