A couple of year's ago I was asked to pray for a young girl in Michigan who had cancer. Her name is Christa Knuth and she is with Jesus now. Christa's mother had set up a caringbridge web site for those following her daughter's medical progress and as I read about Christa, though I have never met her or her family, I grew to love her almost as if she were another daughter of mine.
Christmas morning I opened my email and found a link to the following status update from her mother:
Christmas morning I opened my email and found a link to the following status update from her mother:
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| Christa Knuth |
"My beautiful and precious daughter is celebrating Christmas with her Lord and Savior. I am filled with profound grief missing her so terribly even as there is joy that she is walking and dancing again in her new restored body with her Lord and Savior, Jesus.
Though the many things that were spoken of didn't happen the way I expected them to, they were fulfilled. She testified every day by her joyful life even as she suffered many things. In Christa's last words, "Jesus is the only way". I am so very proud of her, but I miss her and am grappling with this devastating loss."
Christa is home.
Christa was a Christian girl. Fully Christian and fully girl. The following are some posts from a webpage that Christa and one of her friends created. They're great:
Though the many things that were spoken of didn't happen the way I expected them to, they were fulfilled. She testified every day by her joyful life even as she suffered many things. In Christa's last words, "Jesus is the only way". I am so very proud of her, but I miss her and am grappling with this devastating loss."
Christa is home.
Christa was a Christian girl. Fully Christian and fully girl. The following are some posts from a webpage that Christa and one of her friends created. They're great:
- I'm 16, I wish I could drive, I try my best to live life to the fullest… even when I don't feel like doing anything.
- I love my bffs (shout to shandy! hehe) and family but most importantly Jesus.
- I'm on the verge of being a shopaholic (best book series ever!), I love art and the feeling of happiness and accomplishment when i've finished a drawing or whatever random craft i've just made.
- I love listening to music with my headphones on,and just forgeting the world for just those few minutes...
- I try my best to be the person God wants me to be,even when I feel like punching someone in the face.
- I wish I lived in Cali..but I don't think I could ever leave everyone I love.
- I love sleepovers..filled with laughter, movies,junk food,and sleepless nights.
- I love playing Call of duty with Shauna and my other friends.
- One of my biggest goals in life is to save at least one person.
- I love my pasta..and bread..and pretty much anyother kind of carbs...
- I love taunting shannon with mini M&Ms ;)
- The O.C was by far the best show I've ever seen. (If Seth Cohen were a real person I would marry him)
- I love laughing and smiling. but I especially love making other people laugh and smile and be happy.
- this was so random... but so am I.
- Justin Bieber is the hottest boy I have ever seen. ( haha); I really hope he doesn't go crazy and get arrested for drug possession like everyone else in hollywood.
- I love sour jolly ranchers..they just might be my favorite candy.
- I multitask at least once a day.
- I love reading, it takes me somewhere else without actually going anywhere.
- ok I'm done for now.. I'll finish this later.
Christa's brother Cory read the following passage at the celebration of her life that followed. I wanted to share it with you because I was deeply moved by his account.
STREETS OF GOLD
by Cory Knuth
Any day spent enduring the dreary mundane of cubicles and fax machine is unpleasant, but this one was forever darkened by the phone call. The phone call I knew was coming, the call that I expected weeks or months from when my phone rang; the phone call that forever darkened that day.
I raced home from work and entered a scene only to be described as grim. My heart sank into my stomach as I watched her struggle for every breath. I was lost for words, any words, at a time when I felt like I needed to have them. I felt like I had to say something to make it better but I was completely blank, and breaking.
I walked into the room and just sat there and watched, my mind wandering a wilderness of emotions. The day felt on fast forward but passed so slowly.
I felt the burden of guilt for the hundred times I had walked by this room and not gone inside. It had been so hard to see this, so hard to face reality. Ironic, since this had all started to feel like a dream.
I wished I had been stronger. I wished I had been able to face it more, because precious time to spend with the most precious had run out. I couldn’t even write words to express how quickly my emotions were changing, or what they even were. I’m certain there aren’t words to describe some of the emotions I felt. Also ironic, for one as emotionally controlled as I claimed to be.
I raced home from work and entered a scene only to be described as grim. My heart sank into my stomach as I watched her struggle for every breath. I was lost for words, any words, at a time when I felt like I needed to have them. I felt like I had to say something to make it better but I was completely blank, and breaking.
I walked into the room and just sat there and watched, my mind wandering a wilderness of emotions. The day felt on fast forward but passed so slowly.
I felt the burden of guilt for the hundred times I had walked by this room and not gone inside. It had been so hard to see this, so hard to face reality. Ironic, since this had all started to feel like a dream.
I wished I had been stronger. I wished I had been able to face it more, because precious time to spend with the most precious had run out. I couldn’t even write words to express how quickly my emotions were changing, or what they even were. I’m certain there aren’t words to describe some of the emotions I felt. Also ironic, for one as emotionally controlled as I claimed to be.
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| Bother Cory and Sister Kelsey |
It would have been so easy to get mad at God, to scream his name in anger. Because I had no answer for the short troubling question; why?
I truly wanted to be angry at someone, at anything, and God would have been easy to blame. My faith was not shaken, I was simply broken and the strongest of my emotions was the one that threatened to rip through the cracks. I couldn’t be angry at Him though. It would have been impossible.
Because of her; because of the way she handled that day. Because of the way she had handled the last two years. For if I felt I had the right to be mad at God, than surely she was more than justified. She of course didn’t react this way, she loved Him more than ever.
You see, over the past two and a half years my sister received nothing but bad news from the medical community. Time after time the doctor would have to say something grim that would probably break a lot of people, but not my sister. After she would receive bad news she would simply ask to be alone with the Lord. She would talk to Him, and He would respond.
We knew this because when you re-entered her sweet presence she would exude what can only be described as a peace that transcends all understanding. God had stilled her restlessness, He had told her it would be alright and only to trust Him, and she did.
This darkest of all days was no different; she did two things I won’t ever forget. In the afternoon before the drugs really began to take over her lucidity she asked for a moment alone with God. When we came back, just as all the times before, she had such a calm spirit.
The other moment will also never be forgotten. It was before the multitudes had gathered in support. The last moment that my family spent together, my whole family, father included.
My mom, barely holding it together, told her that we would not be separated for very long. That we would dance on streets of gold with her very soon. My dad also said he would see her there.
She responded with a stern voice, incredible considering she couldn’t lift her own hands.
She spoke clearly. “You have to be there. No you don’t understand you HAVE to be there. You have to accept Jesus into your heart.”
I managed to keep myself composed enough to watch my father pray the sinners prayer with her. When she was satisfied she seemed to relax more into the rest her ravaged body so needed. She almost whispered.”I love you all.”
Deep down, past the whirlwind of emotions I was feeling, past the streams of tears rolling down my face, I was impacted, changed. This was what faith in God was.
This was real faith; the absolutely gritty reality of faith. Trusting in God, believing in Him, relying on Him, even when to every secular observer He had completely abandoned her.
You see my sister’s body had deteriorated into a broken, ruined shell only to house her soul until God received her, but her faith was stronger than anyone I had ever encountered. It was a faith like that of the centurion, yet absent to the healing!
I will never forget carrying my sister to the gurney after mumbling Stephen’s last words “into Your hands I commit her spirit.” Just like I had moved her 100 times before; and I will never forget the power that she commanded.
Power of faith, handling the worst throws of life with the sweetest grace, and unwavering trust in our Lord.
This very day, she is dancing on streets of gold, in the presence of our King. Hallelujah."
I can't wait to meet her.
A lot of the preceding material was taken from Christa Knuth's Caringbridge.org site. It may be found here. There's a lot more good stuff there, if you'd like to take a look.
I truly wanted to be angry at someone, at anything, and God would have been easy to blame. My faith was not shaken, I was simply broken and the strongest of my emotions was the one that threatened to rip through the cracks. I couldn’t be angry at Him though. It would have been impossible.
Because of her; because of the way she handled that day. Because of the way she had handled the last two years. For if I felt I had the right to be mad at God, than surely she was more than justified. She of course didn’t react this way, she loved Him more than ever.
You see, over the past two and a half years my sister received nothing but bad news from the medical community. Time after time the doctor would have to say something grim that would probably break a lot of people, but not my sister. After she would receive bad news she would simply ask to be alone with the Lord. She would talk to Him, and He would respond.
We knew this because when you re-entered her sweet presence she would exude what can only be described as a peace that transcends all understanding. God had stilled her restlessness, He had told her it would be alright and only to trust Him, and she did.
This darkest of all days was no different; she did two things I won’t ever forget. In the afternoon before the drugs really began to take over her lucidity she asked for a moment alone with God. When we came back, just as all the times before, she had such a calm spirit.
The other moment will also never be forgotten. It was before the multitudes had gathered in support. The last moment that my family spent together, my whole family, father included.
My mom, barely holding it together, told her that we would not be separated for very long. That we would dance on streets of gold with her very soon. My dad also said he would see her there.
She responded with a stern voice, incredible considering she couldn’t lift her own hands.
She spoke clearly. “You have to be there. No you don’t understand you HAVE to be there. You have to accept Jesus into your heart.”
I managed to keep myself composed enough to watch my father pray the sinners prayer with her. When she was satisfied she seemed to relax more into the rest her ravaged body so needed. She almost whispered.”I love you all.”
Deep down, past the whirlwind of emotions I was feeling, past the streams of tears rolling down my face, I was impacted, changed. This was what faith in God was.
This was real faith; the absolutely gritty reality of faith. Trusting in God, believing in Him, relying on Him, even when to every secular observer He had completely abandoned her.
You see my sister’s body had deteriorated into a broken, ruined shell only to house her soul until God received her, but her faith was stronger than anyone I had ever encountered. It was a faith like that of the centurion, yet absent to the healing!
I will never forget carrying my sister to the gurney after mumbling Stephen’s last words “into Your hands I commit her spirit.” Just like I had moved her 100 times before; and I will never forget the power that she commanded.
Power of faith, handling the worst throws of life with the sweetest grace, and unwavering trust in our Lord.
This very day, she is dancing on streets of gold, in the presence of our King. Hallelujah."
I can't wait to meet her.
A lot of the preceding material was taken from Christa Knuth's Caringbridge.org site. It may be found here. There's a lot more good stuff there, if you'd like to take a look.
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